The Make It Happen Moment ®

On this very first Fathers Day without my Dad, I’d like to remember him with this written eulogy that I shared on the day of his home-going celebration.

As the only natural born son of Lawrence (Larry) Ralph Borgstede, Jr, it is my great privilege to say a few words on behalf of my mom and family to honor the memory of my Dad on this day of September 20, 2016.

A loving husband, a wonderful father, and a faithful friend…my Dad was all of these and so much more to everyone who knew him and loved him. As his son, I loved him and without any doubt, I know that he loved me. I also know that my Dad would be the first to tell you that he was not a perfect Dad, but I will be the first to tell you that he was a good good father because he first loved his perfect Father in heaven, he secondly loved my mom as Christ loves the church, and he thirdly loved his family and others as he loved himself. When it comes right down to it, my Dad was a good good father because he truly loved the Lord and he truly loved others as God commands all of us to do.

My Dad was the kind of man who always did what he said he would do no matter what it cost him because his good name was worth everything he gave to have a good name that honored God and his family. If he borrowed a vehicle from someone, he brought it back full of gas…that’s just how he rolled.

Besides being called Hon, Dad, Paw Paw, and Pops, my Dad was sometimes lovingly called bumpstead, grumpstead, and motor mouth, but no matter what anyone called him, everyone who truly loved him, knew they could count on him whenever they called him.

On one such occasion, I called my Dad at 4 o’clock in the morning to help me with some mice in my house. I had set a trap in the pantry the night before, and then around 4 am, I heard a loud clamoring all around the inside of the pantry. With all the commotion going on, I thought it just had to be a large rat or squirrel, or possum, or something big. And because I was scared to open the pantry thinking that it would run through the house with my wife and kids there, I called my Dad who lived about 3 miles away to come help capture and kill this monster in the pantry. And sure enough, at 4 in the morning, without any reservation, my Dad got out of bed and showed up to help me.

I guess you want to know what happened to the monster in my pantry, right? Well, when my Dad arrived, he bravely opened the pantry door as I stood behind him with a Puerto Rican bat ready to clobber the monster. And what he found was a little tiny mouse having a bad day with a mousetrap. My Dad looked at me and said, “Son, is this why you got me out the bed at 4 o’clock in the morning? Looks like I’m going to have to teach you a few more things in life.”

And that he did. My Dad has taught me over and over again by his selfless example that being there for people is what matters most in life. My Dad was always, always, always there for me. And he was always there for my family and his friends as well.

Another time I called my Dad when I was in Florida on a business trip and my car wouldn’t start. Without hesitation, my Dad offered to drive to Florida and get me if I wasn’t able to get the car fixed with a new battery. Fortunately, it was just the battery and he didn’t have to make that drive…but he would have gladly done it, if he had to. It’s just how he loved people.

There are literally hundreds of stories that can be told collectively by my family and his friends of how my Dad somehow was there for them over the years and helped them in some large or small way. That’s my Dad…it’s who he was.

In fact, during the final days of my Dad’s life, the hardest thing about it was that his family and friends couldn’t help him when he was the one now calling for help. He had been there so many times for us and he always knew how to help us, but when he needed us to help him in his final days, we didn’t know what to do except to pray for him and be there for him just like he was always there for us.

One thing is for certain though, we can all take great comfort in knowing that my Dad, one of the smartest men I’ve ever known, knew what he needed to do even in his most difficult time. In his final hours, my Dad called on Jesus in heaven to help him when he knew there was nothing else that anyone on earth could do to help him. And without fail, Jesus helped him indeed and what I am about to share with you is amazing!

In the moments when my Dad was crying out, “Jesus help me!” and my Mom was crying out “Jesus, where are you?”, the Holy Spirit whispered to my Mom to put on the daily televised mass for my Dad to watch in his bed. As only God can do, the Lord showed up for my Mom and my Dad when the priest gave his homily about loved ones going home to be with Jesus.

In his homily, the priest said that when believers in Jesus go home to be with Him in heaven, we go home to a beautiful house with many mansions that Jesus has prepared for us. Jesus affirms this Himself in the book of John 14:1-3 when He says, “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”

The priest also said that for all who believe and trust in Jesus, this glorious truth makes us all the more want to go to heaven so that we can see our loved ones once again and have fellowship with them for all of eternity. I know that statement is true for me and I hope it is also true for you because all of us can experience eternal life in heaven.

I believe that if my Dad could speak to all of us here today, he would tell everyone to put your trust in God and commit your life to Jesus so that each of us can be in heaven where he is when it’s our time to leave this earth.

At the very end of the televised mass last Thursday, it was my Dad’s time to leave this earth as he breathed his last breath and went home to be with Jesus in heaven. Praise God that the Lord is faithful and His love is unfailing!

Now, for the rest of this temporary life on earth, I will miss the personal fellowship with my Dad on earth. But, I take great comfort in knowing that I have not lost relationship with my Dad because he is my Dad forever and as a person who has placed my trust in Jesus, I know that I will one day see my Dad again and will forever have fellowship with him in heaven. Thank you Lord that Your mercy is new every morning and Your mercy endures forever!

With that final thought, I conclude with the Italian words of Pope Francis, “Arrivederci” Pops. It means “goodbye Dad, until we meet again.”

As the oldest grandson of Gasper P. LaCiura, it is my privilege to honor his memory with this written eulogy delivered on May 25, 2017.

Thirty-three years ago, I was planning to go to college but didn’t know how I was going to pay for it. And because I needed all the help I could get, I decided to apply for the college scholarship that my dad’s local union was offering to the children of their members. However, in order to apply for the scholarship, I had to write a letter about my goals and ambitions in life. For a 17 year old young man, I didn’t really have any idea what I was going to do in life so I asked my Paw Paw to help me think through what I should write and he gave me this hand-written draft to review and consider. This is what he wrote:

To the Scholarship Committee:

After finishing high school, I plan to attend college, get a comprehensive education, so that I may become knowledgeable in all facets of life, to cope with adversity, to accept responsibility, and to face each day with a positive attitude. I have not decided what I will major in or what field I will enter; however, I will not set my goals so high that they will be unattainable, or will cause me anguish, stress, or poor health.

I plan on being successful, but, how do you measure success? Is it a home on the lakefront with a Mercedes Benz and servants? I think not. A successful person is well adjusted, maintains a certain amount of self-discipline, has a sense of values, morals, ethics, etc. and faces each day in a constructive manner.

I hope to marry, raise a family and become involved in community affairs, such as improved playgrounds, education, drug and alcohol abuse, etc and realize that the future of our country lies with my generation and the ones that come after. I will do everything in my power to make my community and my country a better place in which to live. I will not stand aside and say, “Let George do it!” I will contribute my share.

In the end, I would like to be judged by my peers, family, friends, associates, and all that I become involved with, as an honest, sincere, compassionate, concerned individual who enriched their lives to a great degree.

I have not seen this letter in a very, very long time and I was hoping that I would be able to find it. I am so glad that I did because as I now read it, I am astonished at the profound vision that my Paw Paw possessed for his life because this is the way he lived his life…but even more than that…I am astonished and grateful for the vision he possessed for my life. In the words of his letter, I can see that he very eloquently communicated so many years ago what he hoped my life would turn out to be. And as I now reflect upon my life in comparison to his hopes for me 33 years ago, it is clearly evident how much my Paw Paw loved me and how much he actually influenced my life for the good.

Because my Paw Paw taught me that the pen is mightier than the sword, I decided to write him a letter on Christmas Eve in 2007 to honor him and tell him how much I loved him for being the best grandfather a young boy, and a grown man could ever have.

I told him how much I appreciated him for letting me experience the thrill of driving a boat as a young lad and teaching me that life is a daring adventure to be enjoyed with those you love.

I thanked him for the many opening days of shrimp season when he, my dad, and I would enjoy the anticipation of the first drag of the net. And it didn’t matter if we caught the “mother lode” or if we forgot to “tie the pocket”, (which we did far too many times) my Paw Paw taught me that the simple things in life were the good things in life.

When I was 14 years old and turning 15, my Paw Paw knew that I was saving money to buy my first car. So he called me one night and asked me how much money I had saved. I told him that I saved $1,400 and then he asked me if I liked the 1966 Mustang that he had in his driveway and offered to sell it to me for $1,200. What a surprise that was to me and even more so to my parents because I don’t think they were quite yet ready for me to own a car and be driving. By his example, he taught me that nothing in life is free and anything worth having is worth the hard work to achieve it.

And then most importantly, I thanked him for always being there for me to listen to my dreams, encourage my whole-hearted pursuit, and inspire my belief that nothing would be impossible for me with a little bit of faith, hope, and love.

I let him know that the gift of his life, love, and laughter that he often shared with me on his early Saturday morning donut runs helped me to become the man of purpose and conviction that I am today.  And because he taught me that “your word is your bond”, I promised to pass on to my children the many life principles that he taught me which are as timeless and priceless as the railroad watch that he left me as a reminder of his family legacy.

And lastly, I closed my letter with a prayer that his personal relationship with our heavenly Father, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, would grow ever more closely and intimately as he reflected each day on the blessings of his life.

Being true to form, after receiving my letter, my Paw Paw wrote back with the following:

Dear Gary,

Finally getting around to writing you to thank you for those wonderful accolades that you bestowed on me. Although I don’t think I am deserving of them, I will accept. And don’t forget for one minute the joy and happiness that you brought into my life. God has been very good to both of us. Of course you know that I am ninety years old. I have survived this long for a reason…God must have plans for me. Don’t laugh!

You have every reason to thank God for being so good to both of us. You have every reason to be thankful to God. First He gave you a wonderful mother and father. Then He gave you a beautiful wonderful wife and children. As far as I am concerned, you are already successful. You have intellect, wit, and the ability to do the things that you prefer…not to mention good looks. That is one thing I’m glad you did not take after me for. I don’t have to tell you that we owe it all to Almighty God. Once again, I want to thank you for the tribute. It brought a tear to my eye.

Your loving grandfather,

Blackie

Yes Paw Paw, we do owe it all to Almighty God and I am thankful He gave me you! I love you and will look forward to seeing you again!!

Farewell To My Grandfather Copyright 2017, Gary Borgstede.  You have permission to reprint the written eulogy, Farewell To My Grandfather, in its entirety only, and forward to your colleagues and friends, provided the copyright notice remains part of the reprint and transmission.  All other rights reserved.